Feeling unsafe in my home state for 24 years

I was riding in the car with my Father driving when suddenly a white Mercedes accelerated at full throttle through the oncoming lane to brake-check us to a complete stop. Upon reaching a complete stop the attacker got out of their vehicle and began yelling racial slurs while threatening to beat us up. After a slight back and forth, the attacker was about to come forth before I stood up, made my size apparent, and stated that I was a powerlifter. In response, they got back in their car and floored it before even putting their seatbelt on.

Despite knowing that I had a very high chance of winning a physical altercation due to my history, I now no longer feel safe anywhere I go. I can no longer comfortably drive with my windows down or go anywhere without a clear escape/fight plan. I have also lost many of my "friends" that ended up blaming me for the incident and vilifying me for my response. After living in my state for 24 years, I have gone against my best wishes and have decided to move to another country.

"China doll!"

I was walking in Fort Greene Park, on my way home around 3pm. As I passed by the men's restroom, an old man (in his 60s?) was about to get on his bicycle. He made eye contact with me and said "China doll!" and then after I walked passed him, he said "China doll. Sucky, sucky. F*cky, f*cky." I did not turn around.

"Your country lost the war."

I was making returns at a local outdoor shopping mall with my teenager. She typically waits for me outside the store in an area that has frequent foot traffic. While I was in the store a woman approached her, noting my teen's presence. The woman proceeded to state, "Your country lost the war; you are not culturally superior.” I had been in the store for 10-15 minutes when my teen came into the store, looking stricken and shocked.

My teen noted that the woman was walking a dog, carrying a loud clicking device and was followed by a man with a clipboard. Because of the strange scenario around this biased individual, my teen quickly left without exchanging any comments.

What is ironic is that my teen was considered to be Japanese (hence the reference to losing "the war") yet her great grandfather fought against the Japanese on behalf of the US military. My teen was not wearing any flags, slogans or images that would suggest that she is Japanese. We aren't Japanese. Many of our family members have served in the US military and/or continue to serve. This incident happened Memorial Day weekend, 2021.

"We all just kept on walking."

A lady in the subway station was walking toward me with her mask down, made eye contact, said, "F*cking Asian." She then shouldered me. While not so strong that I fell, it was forceful enough to twist my torso around and make me do a half step to stay upright. I yelled back, "What the f*ck?" Two other people saw the incident but we all just kept on walking. It was a quick interaction since I was mostly concerned with catching the train and no major physical contact or issues occurred. Thank you for this space to report an incident that would otherwise go undocumented.

Two incidents, just minutes apart

This was two separate incidents that happened minutes apart. First, I was crossing the street correctly (I had the Walk sign). A motorcyclist tried to hit me. He specifically ran his red light to try and hit me. Then he slowed down slightly to glare at me. There was no apology or remorse from him like there would be if someone did all that by accident. So clearly, he did it all intentionally this way.

The second incident was a couple minutes later. I was standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus. One of the cars passing by me, a guy in the car yelled “Ch*nk!!” at me.

"Go back to China!"

I was waiting in front of a Batteries+ store for my husband to pick me after I dropped off my vehicle next door to be serviced. A man who was talking to himself walked in my direction. As he was walking towards me, he threw a canned drink to the ground, but it wasn't thrown in my direction. I moved away from him, making no eye contact whatsoever. As I stood waiting for my husband, the man started yelling, "F*cking communist! Go back to China!" He yelled this several times. I ignored him and he eventually left.

Workplace racism

A department manager was glancing at my new band-aids on my right index finger. I said my cat attacked me. The following question he asked was, "Did you cook your cat into soup...?” He said other things that I did not hear because I was caught with the phrase, “Did you cook your cat into soup?” Manager said he did not know I had cat as an excuse after I told him don't make racist jokes regarding animals like cats. I documented this when I transferred, but he claimed he forgot. I told HR but little has been done except "depends on the context" as usual.

I didn't think it would happen in my own hometown.

I have lived in the Phoenix Metro area as the first generation born in the U.S. Both my parents are from Vietnam and as a young adult Asian male I have always loved being privileged to have the opportunity to live in this country and pursue my engineering degree.

About two weeks ago, I was walking from the grocery store with bags in my hands as I made my way to the light rail. Upon entering the light rail there were no issues, many of the individuals were quiet and kept to themselves, either reading a book, listening to music or dozing off.

After about two or three stops two bald, tall males boarded the bus wearing tank tops and one was wearing jeans while the other shorts. They were laughing and talking rather loudly. They looked around and talked quietly to each other. After the next stop they decided to walk past me as if attempting to relocate to another cart when at the last moment they grabbed both my bags from my side where I was sitting and slammed the bags upside down on the floor of the rail car. My eggs, milk and other products spilled all over the floor as all I could do was yell something along the lines of "What the hell.” They yelled, "Stupid F*cking Ch*nk! Go back to China!" and "Chuck's Feed and Sneed G**k!" as they laughed and quickly exited the cart through one of the double doors as they ran off.

I had to pick up all my groceries as the cart continued to move. While the first expletive is anti-Asian, I had to google search the second phrase they said and is apparently a phrase used by anti-Semites / white supremacists on online message boards. I am deeply saddened and shocked that this happened here in my hometown, where I thought that this kind of activities did not happen. I have previously shared the story with my relatives, but I choose to share my anti-Asian hate story until now. Hopefully my story brings more light to anti-Asian hate here in the U.S. and we can take action to end it today.

"China virus should eat u alive.”

My mom posted a plant for sale on Facebook marketplace. A person messaged her to see if it was still available and if she could pay through Venmo first, then pick up the next day. My mom agreed and responded with my Venmo QR code. My mom was out of town so as soon as she sent the Venmo code, she started driving back home and couldn’t touch her phone anymore. The person didn’t wait until she responded, but instead she messaged my mom multiple times saying: “payment sent” “hello..” “if you don’t respond, I will report u” “yo u ugly Asian b*tch. I hope u rot in hell” “China virus should eat u alive.”

My mom didn’t get home until almost 2 hours later and that’s when she was able to check her messages and was shocked at what she read. The person then messaged me on Venmo requesting for a refund. I told her I don’t appreciate the words she said to my mom and would like her to apologize and I will refund her money back. She responded saying “apologize for what? She sent her Venmo right away but couldn’t send me the address right away? If she has fb and Venmo, she is tech savvy enough. Even if she was driving, there’s a thing called voice text!” I kept it professional and responded back that I shouldn’t have to explain that it’s against the law to text and drive, then refunded her money back. She then blocked me on Venmo. But I still have screenshots of proof of our conversation.

Stopped on a bike ride

This incident happened at Chattahoochee River on Column Drive. I was riding my bicycle while a man ran by me. He screamed out loud "You needed to stay 6 feet away from me.” I stopped because I almost fell off my bicycle. I asked "What was wrong? You screamed at me".” He screamed, "Asian, you needed to stay 6 feet away from me.” I tried to take my phone out, but he grabbed and held my hand to the point that I could not move. I was not able to take his picture. This is a second time he screamed at me on the street.

No one did anything.

One time I was walking my dog and a man started calling me “Stupid Chinese girl” unprovoked and started throwing his possessions at me. When I tried to leave, he followed me down the street and continued to shout at me. Then, he kicked my dog. Three people on the street watched, including a USPS mailman who I started to explain that I was afraid of a man who was pursuing me. No one did anything.

Taking action by teaching intervention

I finally was able to meet my colleague in my local park that is across the street from where I live. We walked around the park while catching up on work. There were two young boys playing baseball and a girl’s soccer practice, a high school group of guys playing soccer, and some at the playground and tennis courts. There were no Asians. But I'm used to that.

The younger baseball game broke up as my colleague and I stopped to talk and I was facing the parking lot. It was a cool 60 degree day. A jeep passed by, with windows down and the man behind the wheel slowed down, coughed loudly with his hands covering his mouth and drove away. I commented to my colleague, that I thought that was directed at me. We both couldn't believe it, but I verified this as no one other car that drove by subsequently had their window down and no one else looked our way. This was an intentional harassment. I was so loopy from COVID shot #2 and the shock, that I forgot to take a picture of his car. I could have even run after him, but just didn't want to bother. I was most disheartened because the man who coughed was with his child.

A week later, I spoke with my colleague and discussed what happened and taught him to ask the person if they were OK and at least realize it is happening. We spoke in generalities and I shared the bystander intervention options and to teach his children. I also told my allies, family and new people I've met about the incident to let them know it's real. That is how I'm taking action.

"I will not stay silent."

I received the worst type of letter. A racist hate letter.

It happened a few days after the Atlanta spa shootings. The letter was mailed disguised as a government department. At first I didn't think about posting it on social media but I did. I wanted our community to know that even something as insignificant as a hate letter would not be tolerated. The letter has been reported to police, postal inspector and other law enforcement agencies. The disturbing rhetoric written reminding me of all the times, my family and I, experience racism. Not only physically by bullying in school, but verbally too. I suffered in silence growing up, but I can not let my family or elderly kin be subjected to this hate.

I will not stay silent.

Up close and personal

My sister and I were walking to get in line for an Asian grocery market in Berkeley when an unmasked man from a nearby auto repair shop walked up directly to us and said, "F*ck you CCP (Chinese Communist Party), it's your fault for bringing the virus here, go back to your country!" We yelled back at him for spewing racial slurs at us and he continued to taunt us. Then he proceeded to harass all the people in line to the grocery market (majority Asian people) and went on a racist tirade, going right up into people's faces and yelling "F*ck you Chinese," along with other hateful speech.

Never believed it would happen to us too

My father (64 years old, Chinese immigrant from Malaysia) took a walk outside his neighborhood in Duluth, GA, as he does regularly, to the gas station. He noticed a young man (late twenties to thirties) who was sitting on a bench outside of the courthouse/police station (my father at the time thought this was city hall), as he walked pass him, he didn't say anything. As my father was walking back, he noticed that the young man was standing up in the walkway by the parking lot. My father looked the man in his eyes, nodded, smiled, and said hello. The man started to verbally curse him out, my dad had earphones on listening to Chinese news. He said he couldn't make out exactly what the young man said - but somewhere along the lines of, "Motherf*cker, I don't need your respect," and kept yelling. My dad is not fluent in English, but knows enough. The man approached my dad and pushed him, my father pushed him back and put his fists up, the man kept approaching him, but my dad kept walking backwards. The man eventually stopped approaching him and my dad looked back to see if he was being followed. He was not followed and he made it home safely. My dad had been hearing news of this happening, but never believed that this would happen to him.